YOU ARE RIGHT…. BUT
I am not wrong. I must have said this umpteen number of times to myself. More so, when I had valid reason that I was right. Why did I not say that when I was right? What stopped me from putting my view across? I guess there must be millions of people thinking like me. It is like if I say the glass is half full, it is half empty according to somebody. I thought of calling it TS (typical syndrome) after a lot of pondering on this subject.
Many a times, I notice this TS happening with some of the junior officers. As the boss/head is making his point in a raised voice, (not always) other hapless and helpless juniors keep telling themselves - you are right, but I… Only difference is that the boss is not able to hear. Even when there is an argument or a simple conversation between two good friends, (one or may be both) seem to be saying you are right, but… to oneself. What holds one back from saying that he/she is also right at that moment differs from person to person and also on situation?
Honestly, at one point of time we all must have gone through this phase of muttering to ourselves that we are right. In fact, we are screaming internally thinking that the other person can read our mind. Just that voice is not heard loudly. Very funny it seems! I could figure out a few possible reasons.
1. May be, some of us are of subdued nature. We want to give an impression to the boss that he/she is super brainy. His/her thinking or judgment can never go wrong. He/she is the best to work with. (No doubt boss is very good and right most of the time but not always.)
2. A simple conversation between two friends exhibits this syndrome. Sometimes it depends on the nature of a person. If one is very authoritative and does not want to accept NO from anybody, you do not have a choice but a mere surrender to her attitude and say you are right.
3. We get to see this syndrome when it comes to talking to elderly persons in the family. Their experience and struggle episodes are revealed in such a way that one tends to say ‘yes, you are right’ to them rather than asking them to come out of set pattern of their programmed thoughts. (of course, they are not wrong always, but..all new things are not bad) We think we are respecting them by not arguing and not hurting sentiments . 4. At times, it is a spontaneous ‘yes, you are right’ when your career /character report (CR) is being
written by seniors. You do not care how right he is at that moment. You are more worried about your career. It is simple ‘yes boss’ for everything.
5. You do not want put your ideas across when you sense an elaborate display of anger. You play a safe game and succumb at that moment TS. We get to see this in public areas, traffic signals, and so on.
6. Classic examples come up when some new proposals are shown to of politicians for a developed nation. Such proposals are out right rejected with or without any reasons. Such situations compel you to say “you are right, but this proposal is not wrong”. This could be due to shear lack of trust and ego issues on the part of politicians. Instances keep piling up in our daily life. We probably end the day with a deep sigh and telling oneself that I did try putting my point across but I was over powered.
All is not lost. You do not lose heart. It is just a matter of time. The day is not far when we say loudly “ yes,
I am also right”
SRILAKSHMI SWAMY
I am not wrong. I must have said this umpteen number of times to myself. More so, when I had valid reason that I was right. Why did I not say that when I was right? What stopped me from putting my view across? I guess there must be millions of people thinking like me. It is like if I say the glass is half full, it is half empty according to somebody. I thought of calling it TS (typical syndrome) after a lot of pondering on this subject.
Many a times, I notice this TS happening with some of the junior officers. As the boss/head is making his point in a raised voice, (not always) other hapless and helpless juniors keep telling themselves - you are right, but I… Only difference is that the boss is not able to hear. Even when there is an argument or a simple conversation between two good friends, (one or may be both) seem to be saying you are right, but… to oneself. What holds one back from saying that he/she is also right at that moment differs from person to person and also on situation?
Honestly, at one point of time we all must have gone through this phase of muttering to ourselves that we are right. In fact, we are screaming internally thinking that the other person can read our mind. Just that voice is not heard loudly. Very funny it seems! I could figure out a few possible reasons.
1. May be, some of us are of subdued nature. We want to give an impression to the boss that he/she is super brainy. His/her thinking or judgment can never go wrong. He/she is the best to work with. (No doubt boss is very good and right most of the time but not always.)
2. A simple conversation between two friends exhibits this syndrome. Sometimes it depends on the nature of a person. If one is very authoritative and does not want to accept NO from anybody, you do not have a choice but a mere surrender to her attitude and say you are right.
3. We get to see this syndrome when it comes to talking to elderly persons in the family. Their experience and struggle episodes are revealed in such a way that one tends to say ‘yes, you are right’ to them rather than asking them to come out of set pattern of their programmed thoughts. (of course, they are not wrong always, but..all new things are not bad) We think we are respecting them by not arguing and not hurting sentiments . 4. At times, it is a spontaneous ‘yes, you are right’ when your career /character report (CR) is being
written by seniors. You do not care how right he is at that moment. You are more worried about your career. It is simple ‘yes boss’ for everything.
5. You do not want put your ideas across when you sense an elaborate display of anger. You play a safe game and succumb at that moment TS. We get to see this in public areas, traffic signals, and so on.
6. Classic examples come up when some new proposals are shown to of politicians for a developed nation. Such proposals are out right rejected with or without any reasons. Such situations compel you to say “you are right, but this proposal is not wrong”. This could be due to shear lack of trust and ego issues on the part of politicians. Instances keep piling up in our daily life. We probably end the day with a deep sigh and telling oneself that I did try putting my point across but I was over powered.
All is not lost. You do not lose heart. It is just a matter of time. The day is not far when we say loudly “ yes,
I am also right”
SRILAKSHMI SWAMY
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