balance sheet

BALANCE SHEET

Hey!,What’s up? Are you free to join me for dinner tomorrow? I asked my friend urmi. With in seconds came the reply, no yaar, lot of pending work to complete before the year end. Sorry...Yaar. Any way thanks. Next time I will join you.  Do you bring home the office job I asked her. No no, you are getting confused. It is some thing to with my own personal life and she spoke to me for an hour about that.

It seems she has maintained a diary gets busy in December writing about all that she did and those she did not to bring out a balance sheet.  Very career oriented and meticulous I thought. I was surprise to hear that she wrote nothing of her career or goals in life.

She set the target in the January for a self cleansing mission. She gave her self twelve months to find where she stands by the end of it.  She wanted to experiment with her self. As I knew her, she was a very sensitive and caring person having small and affordable ambitions in life. At the same time she was also a hot tempered person, got in to arguments at times. She used to feel very low when her sincere efforts were not recognized. This caused her great disturbance and wowed to be changed person at any cost.

First step was that she purchased a lot of books and read them thoroughly. Next she went to the counselors and discourses to remove those thorns from her life. She did talk to (angry) management gurus. Nine months had passed and none of the above ways lead her anywhere near her goal(controlling anger) Urmi was getting restless.

Finally, she came up with her own solution. First, she analyzed the reason for her high temper. She realized that she got angry when people boast about themselves for no rhyme or reason. She knew that there was no substance in it. She used to be red hot when she was let down by her very trusted friends. She fumed when she was denied of a simple appreciation by the boss for the good job and credits were given to her friends who did not even involve in the project work. She felt that good to know the root cause of her anger.

 Second, she thought and thought over each issue and found out that she should stop thinking about her friends boasting part. More time she gave for thinking about them, more was her rage.  It was like a rehearsal and the scene was repeated again and again. Her thought process told her to seal her mouth tight and appreciate them for their talent of boasting instead of boiling the blood. Initially it was very difficult to even look with a composed mind leave alone appreciating them. Itch to blast was on a high scale. She had consumed a beautiful medicine called determination. Victory did kiss her  and test results gave her A grade in the balance sheet.

 Third, she adopted the technique of ‘whole hearted approach and a reward from with in’.  This style gave a lot of scope to her. She was critical at times and very understanding at times. She finally shut the doors of comments (good and bad) from others. Here again, it was difficult initially but that genuine appreciation from with in kept her going towards A plus grade.  She is fielding, batting and bowling.  A literal one man(sorry woman)show that was.  Today, Urmi is very happy with her achievement. I see her as a cool, pleasant and satisfied person.  I am highly inspired and I am on my way to see my balance sheet.

i miss u Mj

I have been mustering my courage for some time to write my feelings for you. Like any body, even I used to watch you on TV, read about you and keep wondering what you were made of. Is it a human being with a golden voice or a person who has springs all over his body? What ever it is, you were the super power for all you fans.

 MJ- This is how you were known to the world, Michael Joseph Jackson. It is almost a year since you left this world for ever. World called your death an untimely one. I agree with them completely. I never knew that I was your big fan till I read more and more about you. I wondered all these day why I miss you. Your eyes said more than your singing.  Your child like expressions and hunger for creating something unique that common people like us can not think of.

In fact, I used to see your concerts on TV(some of them live) believe me, I could hardly understand very little of the song. One thing was sure that, when you were on the stage, it appeared to me that you did not belong to this earth at all. Right from your entry in to venue to exit, there was a unique style. Once on stage, the performance was purely divine. You mesmerized the audience, transported them and TV viewers  to a different world.

Still, Why do I miss you of all the people? Is it because you frankly admitted in Oprah Winfrey show that you felt lonely among ten of your family members? You did discuss with her about your appearance and your dissatisfaction about it.

When you were just eight, you shared the lead vocals with your older brother. There was no looking back there after. With many recordings under your belt, you emerged as the main lead singer. People acknowledge you as MJ with "overwhelming musical gifts," Your created history with your best selling albums world wide. Each concert of yours was conceived, planned and rehearsed well before taking millions of people to an ecstatic level. You combined music and technology to bring the heaven down.  You scaled new heights as a superb rock star. 

There were times you felt low because media hyped every issue related to personal life. I see you as person of extraordinary wits. I rate you as person who taught the world how to experienced oneness with divine. When I see your picture or posters, somehow I feel that your eyes told a lot of sad stories. You smiled for people, you changed the lives of many beings and touched many hearts. Concerts were a great success but you could bearly manage yourself behind the stage curtain. You kept your pain and agony so well guarded till the end. Yet another reason for missing you-I saw you holding the nations of the world together with music and dance.

Is it that you devoted your time for concerts that you cared less for your health? You were on peace spreading mission through your flawless performances.

You could have added some more grammy awards if you were not called so early from this world. It appears that God was jealous of us that we were entertained by a rockstar like you and he wanted  your presence in his world. You etched your name permanently.

This is a small tribute to you dear MJ.

thanks honey!!!!!!!!!!

Small little things you did gave me a great support. Thanx once again!

DEVINE CONNECTION

Many a times, I have observed that we attach some kind of importance to some things in life. In most of the cases, we do not know the reasons for such attachments. It could be with people, pet animals, surroundings, or even with nature. Just observe that when ever there is a proposal to go out for a weekend or a holiday, the destination is something like a forest, river bed, sea shore, water falls, or mountain or even desert. Why do we feel good by going to such places? Answers vary from person to person.  Surprisingly, none of these so called places speak to us. They do not even know who we are and how wealthy we are? One more interesting observations is that they do need us. It is we who go in search of them.

What is the strong bond between us and the place? Is it the company or the holiday mood or the change of environment or is it something to do with heart to heart talk with nature!!! Even I do not know.

We (sorry, I) claim that we know our family members very well. Except for the general information about the date of birth, blood group, interests and hobbies, work place and designation, I really do not know much about my family members about their connection with specific field of nature. Recently we visited the Niagara Falls in U.S. The panoramic view was simply breath taking. Hour’s together one could simply stand and watch the fall. Temperature was freezing. It appeared as though Clouds merged with water and both were falling together.  Water fall was just glorious, aggressive, violent and touch-me-not kind. Cold waves were forcing people to go to cozy places at the earliest.

My brother must have visited this falls umpteen number of times prior to my visit. His excitement was worth seeing. Sub zero degree bothered him the least. He selected a place and stood there silently. Probably he must have been interacting with each and every sheet of water. I could see there was a magic between him and water.(which he could not even touch) he was on a different level altogether. He gaze kept on telling dancing water how much he missed her. Reluctantly he came back and sat in the car. Just after fastening the seat belts, he wanted to go back and be with his divine nature for some more time. Very amusing I thought! A connection, which is so personal, a comfort zone that is shared only by two individuals silently.

Yet, another friend of mine also has the same type of intense connection. She drives you crazy if you do not join her to see the sunset or sunrise. She takes pains to reach the terrace to send the Sun God home safely. She does not respond to any body when she is having a date with Sun. Her face is cheerful and vibrant when there is no disturbance in visual contact. Suddenly she frowns at the clouds if they stand between her and the Sun. She looks as though she can conquer the world if she has seen the sunrise to her heart’s content. I have seen her mummer something as an extension of the conversation with Sun. She says that she gets a chance to pour her heart out twice a day. How nice I thought! No body forced to have this passion. Her system guided to do so. This need not hold good for others.

I am fortunate to have some more friends who have a real dialogue with nature. One of them has a fancy in conversing with sky. He has discovered a place in the city which is like a macchan in the forest. You see him absolutely fresh and charged when he spends good time with his sky.  Such people are never bored to be alone. They take their time off to be with their divine connection. There is no give and take business. It is magical and pure bliss. This is such an attraction which is only to felt by every individual.